Tools for Tough Times

Simple ways to support your nervous system and support good health during times of stress.

It’s no secret if you’ve read any of my Instagram stories from a few weeks ago that I was recently operating at maximum capacity. I had no space to fit anything else in, and I wasn’t trying to (this is part of my self-growth, not overcommitting and learning to say no), however sometimes this can also feel like there is no time for self-care. The worst part about this kind of thinking is that these are the times when we need it the most, and without some foundational rituals that support our wellbeing we have a slim-to-no chance of making it out the other side in one piece.

One more thing I want to note when it comes to times of stress is that they aren’t always something we can control. This current world climate speaks a language of stress and overwhelm, so if you have to make big decisions or have been put in a scenario somewhat out of your control then these tools may be helpful for you to weather the storm well. I recently read a post here by the magnificent Kate Gardiner Clearlight, author of

the heart of Gaia

where she talks about her recent experiences with Venus. The part where she speaks to the feeling of coming back into society after time out in the wilderness really hit home for me. The world is on fire in so many ways, and these tools and rituals need to form a strong foundational practise that anchors us to the higher vision - to the light at the end of the tunnel (these times remind me of Gorse from the Bach Flower Remedies).

I have realised that I talk often about rituals I have in place that form my personal foundational practise yet I don’t always share what those are, so today I’m going to share some of the intentional actions I take every day or every week to care for myself well during times of stress.

Keeping an eye on nutrition

Watching what you put into your body is one of the most vital cornerstones of caring for your inner landscape. What is fueling you? How are you nourishing your physiology?

When you are under stress it often is not the time to think about aesthetic goals or lean into unhealthy or self-sabotaging behaviours when it comes to food. When your body is stressed your nervous system begins to use more nutrients including iron, magnesium, omega fatty acids, B vitamins and more. These are the nutrients that keep your body and nervous system functioning well, so it makes sense that when the body is under stress more nutrition is needed to help keep you well.

Avoiding food because you are anxious, or overeating are both common responses to stress -neither of which serve your body well.

Something else that happens when we enter a state of sympathetic nervous system dominance, known as fight-or-flight mode, is that our body begins to put certain systems into ‘sleep mode’. This is a protective mechanism that allows your body to direct energy into exactly where it is needed and conserve energy where possible. For example, the reproductive system isn’t needed when running from a threat, and if you’re escaping from a mountain lion you probably aren’t sitting down for a nice lunch so digestion isn’t a priority. Instead, the blood flow necessary for good digestion is redirected to your extremities to aid in your escape from a perceived threat.

These are all functions that serve an important purpose and they keep us alive in times where we need them. The unfortunate downside is that the current societal system is
inherently a threat to our survival and our ability to thrive.

We see threats everywhere we turn, and our nervous system is never able to turn off fully. I could dive more into the changes that occur as a consequence of prolonged sympathetic nervous system dominance and chronic stress including dysregulated thyroid function, cortisol issues, hormonal changes (especially with oestrogen), weight gain and more, but I think that’s better for a different time and maybe as a podcast episode.

What I will say is to optimise your nutrient absorption and to nourish your body in times of acute stress I would recommend easy-to-digest, warming foods with an abundance of bioavailable nutrients. Soups, stews, curries, congees - dishes cooked “low and slow”. Lots of warming and anti-inflammatory, anti-oxidant spices like ginger, turmeric, garlic and chilli.

Avoid drinking cold drinks and help your stomach to keep that digestive fire burning. If you are experiencing a loss of appetite then try for smaller portions more frequently, and balanced snacks like fruit and nuts together and snacks with plenty of fats and protein can be helpful. Focus on eating lots of veggies, including root veggies for grounding and if you are eating animal protein then I would suggest cooking your meat with apple cider vinegar or in other ways that help to predigest it, making it a bit easier to break down in the gut.

I personally never drink liquids with meals ever, never drink cold water and avoid cold drinks where possible, and when I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed I love nothing more than a big bowl of the famous red lentil curry without any rice, just as it is. It’s warming, nourishing (I add veggies), spiced beautifully and digests well. It has a lot of plant-based protein and comes together quickly. My favourite hack is to make double at minimum and freeze some in portions so that when I need it I can just reach for the freezer and reheat in 10 minutes or less on the stovetop. It’s the best give past me could give future me, and I have started to do the same with my favourite healthier cookie dough and anything I can make extra of.

Working with plant remedies

Plants and flowers are our best friends in times of stress. Nervous system herbs can be a lifesaver, and you might choose to look for herbs that offer nutritive, nervine, anxiolytic and adaptogenic qualities.

Teas, nourishing infusions, herbs in broths and food, cacao (provided you aren’t too stimulated by it), infused honey, herbal vinegars, syrups, oils, baths, elixirs and tinctures are all wonderful ways to collaborate with the plants during times of acute stress and hardship. Intention candles anointed with plants and plant meditations have also been helpful for me personally during periods of high-intensity emotion.

You may also choose to work with plants that support the nervous system in less obvious ways, such as supporting digestion with bitters, working with mucilage (think marshmallow root) if you are experiencing reflux or digestive discomfort, working with herbs like fennel or catnip to alleviate gas or bloating, working with plants such as calendula to support lymphatic flow and improve any skin symptoms, brewing a reishi mushroom tonic to support impaired immunity and imbibing nourishing infusions daily to boost your mineral status and give your body some love as it works so hard to keep you healthy.

Flower essences are perfect for tough times as their vibrational medicine works directly on the energetic/emotional bodies to create change. They can help to facilitate past life work, shadow work or offer a gentle nudge in the right direction if you are feeling like you’re unsure of your next moves.

Flower essences are noninvasive and safe for use on a wide range of people. They can also be used on children, pets, plants, and really any other living being! I have seen incredible things happen with flower essence use, including acute issues like hives or panic attacks.

I offer video and distance flower medicine sessions where I help you with some personal guidance, clear direction and to formulate the perfect essence for your current needs, and these sessions always end up being more therapeutic in way of bringing issues to light and allowing for non-judgemental and open discussion about what has come up before we even get to the essence itself. My flower sessions are very holistic and integrative so you will always walk away with suggestions and recommendations that touch on many areas in your life, not just in the emotional realm. I love to weave in ways to embody emotional transition and work with the flowers in ways other than applying the essence in the traditional manner.

My personal go-to remedies are Crisis Essence, my favourite Warm Hug tea with chamomile, oat straw and passionflower, beautiful herby foods and recipes like my favourite lemon balm and strawberry puree. I love to weave in joy and pleasure when I work with plants, especially during times of stress!

Prioritising rest + sleep hygiene

It’s a cliche for a reason, and that’s all I can really offer on that. Effective rest and good sleep are imperative for a healthy mind, body and spirit. Your nervous system won’t be able to reset if it isn’t given a chance to take a break and go through some healing sleep cycles - the same goes with the rest of your body! Obviously some of us are more able to achieve this deep, restorative sleep than others (a.k.a. not those of us in the midst of young baby mothering) but there are always things we can do to maximise our rest times as much as possible.

I always recommend to clients to start with a light bulb audit of their homes - do you have white or blue lights in your space? How many light bulbs can you swap out with smart bulbs or just warm bulbs? Attempt to get sunlight into your eyeballs (not from behind a window) first thing in the morning for 5-10 minutes if possible, and I also try to get the dimming light in my face during the evening to help balance my circadian rhythm.

How does your bedroom feel, does it feel blissful and relaxing? Do you enjoy being in that space? Even the way your room feels and smells can help your body trigger a relaxed response, or a stressed one, depending on the situation. How could you bring in a nice warm lamp, delightful smelling room mist, fresh sheets or some other little pleasures to help your space feel more welcoming?

When you do have time to rest, how are you spending it? I’m guilty of using every spare second to work or research when sometimes I need to just sit down, read a book or do some yoga and NOT work or multitask. I have been making it a priority to get ready for bed earlier and once it hits a certain time at night I just give up work and read my book until sleep time.

I have to stop myself from checking emails or social media after a certain point because if I end up getting a message that isn’t a nice one it can trigger anxiety for me and ruin my sleep. When I get up with the baby I don’t go on my phone and wake myself up, and I have put lamps in the living room and bedroom for nice soft lighting. I make an effort to reset the bed in the morning and I always open my curtains (and the doors) to let in fresh air and light as I feel like it cleanses my space and allows for fresh flowing energy to come through. These things don’t take long to do but I notice how my home feels when I don’t do them.

Hydration

Drink your water! When you aren’t in a time of acute stress look into how you can have the best quality drinking water possible to set yourself up for success when tougher times do come along. Filtered is best, but remember that you always want to keep your minerals up (particularly if you use a reverse osmosis filter). I love to use the Ancient Lakes liquid magnesium in my cacao to keep my electrolytes balanced and allow my body to deeply hydrate (if you reach out I can order it for you!). Staying hydrated not only helps the cells and the brain to communicate and function optimally but dehydration has also been linked with cognitive deterioration.

Setting and honouring boundaries

Boundaries are incredibly important, and they become even more so when your resources are more stretched and your capacity is reduced. The last thing you need when you are going through your own time of crisis is to have people with little or no respect for your personal boundaries and energy to come in and take more from you than you have to give.

This is where the word ‘no’ comes in, and loving and respecting yourself enough to know that it is okay to say no sometimes. You do not exist to be at the mercy of everyone else around you.

Having access to you, your energy and your gifts is a privilege and not a right. If people want that privilege they need to be in a reciprocal relationship with you, not just one of taking without any giving back.

I have done cord burnings, I have had

Ellene New Age Naturopath

do pendulum clearings for me and I have flat-out told people no. I have said to others that I lovingly just need to let them know that I am at absolute capacity, and don’t have the space for any other commitments or responsibilities to get ahead of any requests. I think in this case if you are wanting to keep someone in your life then clear and proactive communication here is key!

If someone can’t respect healthy communication and boundary setting then they may not be your person, but equally so our loved ones aren’t meant to be mind readers. They can’t always know what you need without you saying something first! Ask for what you need, be clear in your messaging and let people know where you are at.

Changing tracks

This is a technique I like to use when I’m feeling very heightened and having moments of dissociation and panic. Changing tracks is the best way of describing it that I’ve managed to find, but it refers to altering aspects of your physical environment to help bring you back to the present moment and ground into reality. We are aiming to prevent the doom spiral that can happen when we stay in our heads for too long!

This could look like changing or putting on music, opening or closing a window, going on a toilet break or getting a drink of water, spraying a scent or lighting a candle, turning on or off a light, moving rooms, changing clothes or going for a walk. Maybe you call a friend to talk it through or have some grounding food. It’s a fairly simple exercise but it can be highly effective for acutely stressful moments.

Creating a vibe

I have kind of touched on this in the sleep hygiene and rest section but the way that your home looks, smells and feels really can impact your overall mental state and feelings of peace and relaxation.

If there is mess everywhere, the air is stale and the room is dark it just doesn’t offer the cosy vibe I need for my nervous system to regulate and feel at ease. This doesn’t mean that you need to go and buy expensive new styling pieces or boujee candles, but a little bit of effort and intention over time can help to create a space that feels like an instant and much-needed deep breath out.

I love to have beeswax candles around, and I’ve been known to make my own (it’s not hard - Handmade Naturals has everything you need to affordably make the easiest tea light candles ever, and you can reuse the shells over and over). I enjoy dried flowers and plants, I try to refresh my altar each sabbat and I like to have hardy fresh plants in the house that don’t require much upkeep so as to not contribute to further stress (zanzibars, pothos and snake plants are all great). As I mentioned I like to open my curtains and doors at least for a while in the morning, and I enjoy the ritual of closing them all and turning down the lights in the evening as I put my home ‘to bed’.

These are all small things that make a big impact for me, so perhaps put some thought into how you could bring more ritual and feel-good energy into your space.

Make time for joy

Finding time for joy should be a non-negotiable in our daily lives - though it often is not. I know I find it difficult to carve out time to do something just for the sake of pleasure and fun, without an outcome in mind or a goal to reach however I also know that without regular practise at it, like building muscle, I will never get to a point where it feels like I can truly unwind and prioritise my joy.

The pockets of time where I get to decompress and do something for the fun of it always have me stepping back into the flow of my life with renewed vigour and a surge of creative energy.

Making this time doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be as simple as dancing to some music in the kitchen, trying a new recipe, doing some doodling while your kids draw or hula hooping while they play in the yard.

Follow the seasons

Seasonal living is the way of the past and is undoubtedly the way of the future.

Observational practises and walking through life following the themes and transitions of nature allow us to cultivate more presence, slow down and live in a way that is more rich and appreciative of this precious life. It supports understanding and compassion in ourselves and our young ones as we grow to learn that everything in the natural world has its place and its timing.

Jealousy, greed, the feeling of needing to keep up with the Joneses, the overwhelming sense of lack that this modern world encourages - all of these feelings are rooted in structures created by coloniser culture to control our freedom. Time is a man-made construct and as such I always find it hard to understand how we have become so shackled by it. It makes me unbelievably sad that ‘organic’ food, staying home with our families, owning land or obtaining quality clothing and items that we need to thrive come at such a huge cost these days and are considered luxuries for the well-to-do.

I’ll hop off my soap box now, but all I want for all of us is to live closer to nature in ways that allow us to feel regulated, supported and in community with all kin. Unfortunately, we are in a position right now where many of us have to work a little harder to create this new system so that our future generations get to experience this as the norm once again and I believe that creating a bond with the natural world around us is a great place to start this in an achievable way.

I find great comfort in knowing that I’m never alone. I’m perpetually surrounded by trees, the earth, animals, and every other living organism with a history greater than mine and wisdom to share. We are a part of nature, never separate from it and this allows us to lean on the Earth for support and healing. There is a reason why walking barefoot on the grass grounds the electrical charge of your body or why a dip in the ocean does the same. Walking through trees helps to regulate your nervous system and watching a sunrise and sunset regulates your circadian rhythm. Exposure to cold and warm temperatures helps to move your lymph and sunshine is needed to create vitamin D to support immunity and healthy bones.

Nature doesn’t make mistakes, and one of the most radical and profound foundational practises we can have is reconnecting to our place in it.

Some of the ways I like to do this is by going for lots of walks with my son, touching my feet to the Earth each day, learning about and celebrating the sabbats, including foraging for seasonal items and working with them to refresh my altar and reminding myself to get caught in the rain on occasion. Imbibing plants is helpful, as is growing your own food or herbs even if it’s just in pots on your balcony. Every little bit helps, and I know that this will be a practise that will change your life.

Outsource where possible

Asking for help is an important skill. It took me many years to understand that you don’t get what you don’t ask for. That’s a little oversimplified, but I do think it’s important to learn that you deserve support and community and that you deserve to enjoy life in a way that feels good.

You do not have to do it all, you don’t have to do it alone and you don’t need to strive for the elusive sense of perfection.

Outsourcing could look like getting premade meals for your busiest nights of the week, asking for help from a friend, ordering your groceries online or preordering from your local veggie growers or holding a medicine or food-making day with your friends so that you can all share the load of prepping your essentials without too much struggle (e.g. someone makes tinctures, someone makes kraut and someone makes yoghurt and you all swap). It could also look like outsourcing support in way of flower remedies, herbal support, card guidance, clearings or more spiritual trades.

I hope that these strategies, tips and pieces of advice can offer some help and solace for those of you experiencing difficult times, or that perhaps you can save this to come back to next time you need some comfort or creative ideas on how to move through something tough. If you have some tips of your own I invite you to leave them in the comments for others to read, and feel free to send this to someone you know who may need to read these words. For those of you about to experience Cyclone Alfred my thoughts are with you, and I hope we all make it through safely.

- Hannah xx